Where do we draw the line between being hard on ourselves and appreciating our accomplishments within reason?

I am sometimes mistaken for possessing titles that exceed my station in life. At School, I have been mistaken for a professor; at work, I am often mistaken for a doctor. Ordinarily, these chance encounters would flatter me, but as of late, halfway through my 35th year on this rock, I feel shame. Shame for not having more to show for myself at this point in life. Sure, I carry myself with professionalism and charisma, but I often feel hollow inside. Funny enough, I thought I was alone in feeling this way when I came to discover that the very professions and accomplishments I am mistaken for possessing very often, this person feels the same: shame and lack of fulfillment. It then inspired me to propose a question to my friends to gain their insight and opinion:

 Me: "Where do we draw the line between being hard on ourselves and appreciating our accomplishments within reason?

 Because it seems like since we're aware of time and its passing, we tend to measure our accomplishments in this way, that kind of sucks. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes, when I transport a patient at work, I knock on the door. I have my coat and glasses, look like, I guess, a Dr, and the physicians are with patients - The look I get is one of curiosity, and I can see/feel them looking at my ID and think to myself, why don't I have more to show for my age - which brings it full circle to this concept :

It's hard to see life as everything in between, not just two points across space and time - life and death. Ya know, cause there are all the things you carry with you or that you did with other people that they carry, and you can't wear that on a badge. It could be more evident. That may be why it's so unique - it's subjective, and you share it with yourself and the people you experience it with. 

To which my wise friend replied:

" Keeta - I'm reading Big Sur right now, and the last few chapters were like the answer to your existential dilemma the other day. Kerouac said that on his deathbed, he won't remember the day his book was bought by MGM or the times he was on television. It was the little moments like stacking rocks in the river to make a raised spot so he could get clean water without bugs and mud in it.

The little moments, your personal accomplishments that are meaningless to others. Those mean the most for the soul."

This has helped me see that the passing of time makes us measure our achievements in a way that can be discouraging. Drawing the line between being hard on ourselves and appreciating our accomplishments is indeed a delicate balance. It's important to recognize our achievements and give ourselves credit for the progress we've made. However, it's equally important to avoid falling into the trap of constantly measuring our accomplishments against arbitrary standards or societal expectations.

Time can be a powerful force that influences how we perceive our achievements. It's natural to feel the pressure of time passing and to question whether we have accomplished enough. But it's crucial to remember that each person's journey is unique, and comparing ourselves to others can lead to unnecessary self-doubt and dissatisfaction.

We must shift our perspective when we knock on the door of comparison and wonder why we don't have more to show for our age. Life is not solely defined by external markers of success or visible achievement badges. The moments in between, the intangible experiences, the connections we form, and the personal growth we undergo hold deep meaning.

While these personal accomplishments may seem insignificant to others, they often carry profound significance for our souls. It's in those little moments, the seemingly mundane ones, that we find true fulfillment. It could be as simple as stacking rocks in a river to create a spot for clean water or any personal achievement that brings us joy and a sense of purpose.

The key is cultivating an appreciation for these intimate moments and understanding that they hold more value than society's external markers of success. By embracing the subjective nature of these experiences and cherishing the connections we share with others, we can find fulfillment and meaning on our unique paths.

So, celebrate your personal accomplishments, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant to others. Remember that the essence of life lies not in the grand achievements but in the little moments that nourish your soul.

(Ps. My closest friends call me Keeta)